The Reality Ranch

WTF Wednesday

2009-06-03T23:40:00.003-05:00

Yes - that is a rocking toilet....WTF!!

WTF Wednesday

2009-05-28T17:21:00.001-05:00

I have no words to describe this!

Saturday Funny!

2009-05-16T12:54:00.001-05:00

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man Of Your House."

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm done eating my meal, you will serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want!

After wards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess."

Alive and kicking

2009-05-12T11:38:00.003-05:00

Just a brief post to let my 2 readers know I'm still alive. I'm in the process of writing up a post explaining the past several months but for obvious reasons it's taking a while.

I'll give a brief overview and then explain in more detail in another post:

My Grandfather died
My husband was shipped off to Okla-fuckin-homa
I had a nervous breakdown
I found out I had cancer
I had several surgeries and a lot of unpaid time off work
I am still recovering from the financial burden

Thank Jeebus that's all in the past!! I am hoping to start up my WTF Wednesday posts again too very soon.

Please let this be the last

2008-11-26T17:42:00.002-06:00

For many reasons, I have not posted in a long while. I have had many things to deal with that have taken every ounce of my being just to keep moving day to day.

I've been doing OK trying to keep up but today I felt as if a noose took a hold of me....something so rare that even the doctors don't know how they are going to treat it.

Thanks for listening.

Dear Wil and Red

2008-10-02T22:25:00.001-05:00

I just want to say.....

I

AM

SO

SORRY!!!

He's simply unstoppable.....

Its been a long and hard decision...

2008-09-23T18:07:00.004-05:00

but I have finally decided who I am voting for....Walter for President.

Blogcrawl 2008

2008-09-20T19:43:00.002-05:00

woo hoo!! I found if I don't take my pain meds, I can still drink!

Happy Blogcrawl 2008!!!

Ouuuuuuuuuch

2008-09-20T09:14:00.002-05:00

I realized I forgot to mention something - I had surgery yesterday.

But really, it's no big deal.

2 years ago I found a lump on my shoulder which I had removed. 2 months ago, I noticed the lump was back. This time when I went to the doctor he was a bit concerned - it had grown in size, changed color and become painful in less than a month.

Had it removed for a second time yesterday. I now have an incision that is about 6 inches long and 1/2 inch deep along with about 60 stitches. I hurt a bit today, but the darvocet takes the edge off, which is good enough for me.

Hopefully he got it all this time.

Huh, wha....where am I?

2008-09-18T17:53:00.002-05:00

I have no idea where I've been or what's happened for the past month....it's all been a big blur, but I remember a few things:

wake up
make and serve breakfast
make lunches
take youngest to school
go to work
work
take lunch from work to pick up youngest from school
take youngest to babysitters
go back to work
work
go pick up youngest
run errands
go home
feed kids
fight with kids
put kids to bed
pass out
start over

I am so glad my husband finally came home!!

WTF Wednesday

2008-08-27T19:29:00.002-05:00

China really was ready for the influx of English speaking tourists during the Olympics!

WTF Wednesday

2008-08-20T17:08:00.001-05:00

This is OBVIOUSLY a big issue, perhaps we should start a support group.

Galesburg

2008-08-19T17:01:00.002-05:00

What a fantastic weekend! 1756 was a good year!

Full of bachelorette parties, pole dancing, star gazing, fire eating and Swedish chefs!

Once I manage to download all the pictures I'll share a few.

WTF Wednesday

2008-08-13T20:28:00.001-05:00

No really....read it again!

h/t Shadoglare

WTF Wednesday

2008-08-06T18:57:00.002-05:00

I....I.....I'm so confused!

The song is REAL

2008-07-28T19:19:00.000-05:00

This song has been stuck in my head all day!

Update

2008-07-24T18:16:00.000-05:00

There will be no funeral. Apparently my Grandfather, always the one to stir the pot, decided before his death that the would not have a funeral. He wanted a wake 30 days after his death where everyone would get together and have a big party!

My Step-Grandmother managed a compromise and the wake is next Saturday, August 2nd.

Just like Jack to keep everyone on their toes!

UPDATE

His obituary has been posted and gives a brief history of the amazing life he led. If you would like to read it, please click HERE.

WTF Wednesday

2008-07-23T21:09:00.001-05:00

Why do they always have to LIE to us this way?!

He's gone....

2008-07-22T19:09:00.004-05:00

At approximately 4:30 PM this afternoon, my Grandfather passed away at 86 years old.

No additional details at this time.

Take care Grandpa Jack, we love you and miss you:

Something to lighten the mood

2008-07-21T18:43:00.000-05:00

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one
of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought
Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of
tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea,
because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough,
here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him
drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is
the toilet?'

This is going to hurt

2008-07-20T15:54:00.002-05:00

As many of you know, my husband is being sent to Oklahoma for work. We decided to go see a movie last night since it was our last night together.

While sitting in our seats waiting for the movie to start, I noticed my cell phone was going off. I picked it up to see who was calling and noticed it was my Mom.

I froze...

My Mom never calls my cell phone....NEVER, so I knew it couldn't be good.

I didn't answer. Maybe I was being selfish but I knew that answering that call would simply ruin my last night with my husband, and I didn't want to let that happen. I noticed she didn't leave a voice mail, and started to hope that perhaps everything was fine. I did my best to put the missed call out of my mind and enjoy the movie (we saw Dark Knight).

The movie was fantastic and we talked the whole way home about what parts we liked best. I had almost forgotten about my Mom calling....then I saw a message on the answering machine. It was my Mom and she needed me to call.

My Grandfather was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia & congestive heart failure and placed in ICU. They don't expect him to survive long, and he has already established a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). I hope they are wrong....they have been before...

WTF Wednesday

2008-07-16T21:42:00.002-05:00

Wow....

Just wow....

I must be heartless

2008-07-14T12:48:00.002-05:00

I have today off of work, so I'm taking the time to do a few things around the house that I keep putting off and just enjoying my free day overall!

Then I hear a knock at the door.

Standing at the door are two girls, probably between the ages of 7 and 9. One of them is holding what appears to be a donation can.

But they aren't selling anything....

"Hi - we are going door to door collecting money because our Mom and Dad don't have jobs. Could you spare a dollar or two?"

I wasn't exactly sure how to feel.

First I wanted yell that their parents should "GET A JOB". Even with a crappy job market you can still work somewhere, and their parents probably aren't getting unemployment, otherwise they wouldn't need to send their kids door to door to beg for money. Then I realized that yelling at kids probably wasn't the best tactic to take.

Second I was shocked....what kind of parent sends their kids out to beg for money? But perhaps the parent's didn't send them out door to door....maybe the kids were trying to help their Mom and Dad on their own, and this was the only way they could think to do it.

I told them that I do not keep cash around (which is true) and off they went, but I'm still not sure how to feel about this whole situation.

What do you think?

But what if I'm still too lazy?

2008-07-13T21:56:00.002-05:00

A recent study conducted by Harvard University found that the
average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study by the American Medical Association found that Americans
drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

This means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind Of Makes You Proud To Be An American.

WTF Wednesday

2008-07-09T21:27:00.002-05:00

Yes....it really does say that.....!

Stuff with a chance of Dark

2008-06-23T18:37:00.004-05:00

A Legend and one of my favorite people George Carlin died yesterday at 71 years old.

He had a view of things that always made me laugh and made me think. He was an equal opportunity hater, and I respect that! The News keeps saying he died of heart failure....but he already knew why people died. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time..

George, I hope you have room for your Stuff!

R.I.P.

WTF Wednesday

2008-06-18T17:22:00.002-05:00

Aren't all IT folks supposed to be psychic anyway?!

2008-06-12T19:39:00.004-05:00

It’s been so long since I’ve been tagged with a meme that when I noticed Petey’s comment on yesterday’s WTG Wednesday, I momentarily had no idea what he meant!

Apparently he was a meme virgin until today, and just HAD to share it with EVERYONE, but for the record I am rolling my eyes dramatically!

The rules:

Post the rules of the game at the beginning.
Each player answers the questions about themselves.
At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read the player’s blog.
Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

What were you doing five years ago?

I was on leave from work caring for a 3-month-old baby boy, not getting any sleep, and barely getting to shower. So glad he’s 5 now!

What are five things on your to-do list for today?

Finalize test plans.
Fold laundry and put it away. Please note, this seems to be on my list EVERYDAY…
Drink Red Water.
Play Big Fish Games.
Finish this stupid meme **NEW ADDITION**

What are five snacks you enjoy?

Chocolate Brownie Waffle Bowl Sundae from DQ **insert Homer Simpson drool noise here**
Chocolate (milk, dark, white, it’s ALL good)
Ice Cream
Strawberries
Cereal

What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire?

Pay Taxes.
Send my kids to college.
Go shopping. Buy acres and acres of land, build my dream house in the middle of it and install a huge electrified security fence all around it....with turrets. Better call before coming over!!
Pay someone to finish this stupid meme for me!!!

What are five of your bad habits?

I grit and grind my teeth.
I can’t sit right in a chair.
I fidget.
My face always belies my true feelings.
I pick at my fingers.

What are five places where you have lived?

Wichita, KS,
Haysville, KS
Derby, KS,
Dekalb, IL,
Rockford, IL.

What are five jobs you’ve had?

McDonalds
Telemarketer (DON’T HURT ME, I DIDN’T LAST BUT A FEW WEEKS)
Florist
Alarm Dispatcher
Subscriber Services Division Technical Business Specialist I. Fantastic title huh??!!

UCLA STUDY

2008-06-12T17:03:00.000-05:00

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example:

If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

h/t blogless buddy Jim

WTF Wednesday

2008-06-11T19:09:00.002-05:00

'Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.'
--Mariah Carey

Thank you Captain Obvious

2008-06-06T18:29:00.001-05:00

You Are a Little Negative...

You can be negative from time to time, but you rarely go overboard.

You have a realistic view of the world, and most people appreciate your honest insights.

Like everyone else, you have your darker moods.

But when you're feeling super negative, you keep your feelings to yourself.

Are You Too Negative?

h/t Blogmomma Tammi

WTF Wednesday

2008-06-04T18:23:00.004-05:00

Probably shouldn't have laughed as much as I did when I found this....tee hee!

How to drive your spell check crazy

2008-06-03T17:20:00.002-05:00

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Please please tell me now

2008-06-02T21:35:00.002-05:00

I'm confused.

My husband....

the man who willingly drank Bud Light Chelada....
has a zombie fetish....
threatened innocent sailboats....
and vividly described (much to my chagrin) his nightstand.....

is currently doing the yucky dance and being grossed out by the Ped Egg!

You have got to be kidding me.

WTF Wednesday

2008-05-28T21:29:00.003-05:00

Its time I get back on track with blogging, and what better way to do so than with a brand new WTF Wednesday!

No one NEEDS to know his secret.....

For Stress Relief

2008-05-01T09:07:00.000-05:00

http://www.therightfoot.net/mystuff/whatever/swf/bubblewrap.swf

Crazy!!

2008-04-07T19:49:00.002-05:00

You may or may not have noticed, but I have been extremely amiss in my posting lately. Lots of stuff going on and it's been hard to keep up with! A brief rundown of my life for the past couple weeks is as follows:

Got Promotion at work.
Love new job.
Still have to do old job.....but I've been blowing it off.
Youngest turned 5.
Eldest got braces.

I'll find my groove soon and post more then.

He's not a baby anymore...

2008-03-24T18:49:00.005-05:00

My little boy is 5 years old today!

He will be starting Kindergarten in the Fall....

Wow, where does the time go?!

He went from a little baby:

To a Toddler who loves his snacks:

and now a BIG BOY!

Happy Birthday little man!

Humor for today

2008-03-14T11:21:00.000-05:00

Some race horses were staying in a stable.

One of them starts to boast about his track record.

"In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"

Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"

"Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening.

"I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"

The horses are clearly amazed.

"Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."

WTF Wednesday

2008-03-12T20:46:00.003-05:00

In honor of yesterday's IGOLD event (tee hee!)

WTF Wednesday

2008-03-05T18:32:00.003-06:00

Contagion's review speaks for itself!

I told you so...

2008-02-29T18:33:00.003-06:00

An employee who is loyal, talented, works hard and at times even pulls off the impossible, is lauded by some of the colleagues, but does not seem to get the promotion. It is someone else who gets the raise and promotion and soon the person in question finds himself or herself working under a person who is nearly half of him or her in qualification, experience and talent, and even whose loyalty is questionable.

But today, I was vindicated.

The Upper Management in our office are inept, spineless and ineffective. They pretend to enforce the corporate standards, only to rescind it a week later because someone complained. I believe that some of it comes from the fact that raises for the Upper Management are based on a survey their employees take, so they're afraid to upset anyone because they might get a bad score and subsequently a crappy raise. There is no way to effectively manage employees if there is no respect.

During some feedback given to me, I was told that I "needed to work on how others perceive me." Apparently, someone was offended that I told them that they "Might want to sit down and start working." This person complained...and since management doesn't want anyone to be upset, they had to make sure that I knew I was not a Supervisor and therefore should not be providing this kind of feedback. Never mind that this statement came from a person who had been repeatedly warned to sit down and do their job.

From that day forth, I sat down, shut my mouth and ignored all of the abuse around me. I began pretending that I was happy in my job. I would smile and say all the things that were expected, all the while gritting my teeth so hard that my jaw would hurt. I worked hard, met or exceeded the expectations for any goal that was given to me, and played the office politics....but no matter what I was passed over for promotions time and time again. Each time I was not selected for a promotion, I was given feedback like "Be more of a team player" and "Perhaps you should ask for assistance when you need it."

Needless to say, I have been feeling really disgruntled for a while. Coming home stressed and exhausted day after day, I began snapping at the family. I needed a change, and bad.

In November, I applied for yet another position within my corporation, but this time the department I was applying to was located in Chicago. I had my first interview in December and was called back for a second interview at the end of January. Never before have I received the type of comments given during the second interview process. One of the interviewers stated to me point blank "I have been with this corporation for 17 years, and this is the best interview I have ever had the opportunity to conduct."

Today, they offered me the job. Beginning March 17th, I no longer report to the local management.

Now the management who kept telling me how much I needed to change is freaking out. All of the goals for them this year were based on the fact that I was going to be training my peers....and now I'm leaving. I'd like to think that maybe they have learned a lesson and stop taking things for granted, but I doubt it.

I'd like to end with a couple of quotes that express how I feel today:

"Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted."Aldous Huxley

"A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him."David Brinkley

"Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders."Sloan Wilson

UPDATE:

I might have forgotten to mention that although my new management is based out of Chicago, I will still be able to work out of the Rockford office!!

WTF Wednesday

2008-02-27T20:42:00.002-06:00

I noticed this sign on my way to work this morning :)

Yep, that's it for me...

2008-02-25T20:23:00.002-06:00

I was always under the impression that if you did a good job, met every goal that was set for you (regardless of how impossible it seems) and maintained a positive attitude that you would be adequately compensated.

It's always been that way...it's why I work so hard (60 to 80 hours a week) and put up with a lot of shit.

How stupid was I to think that my outstanding performance over the last year was worth anything...apparently no one else thought so.

When I indicated that I felt as though I was getting slapped in the face and that I felt I deserved CONSIDERABLY more than was given, I was told that it wasn't because of my performance, but that there was nothing more they could do.

Translation: "Just suck it up and be glad you have a job. Just remember that we will continue to use you and abuse you and we don't want to hear any bitching."

It's been more than a week and my mood has NOT improved. Imagine that.

WTF Wednesday

2008-02-13T22:01:00.000-06:00

This is so NOT a selling point for me!

But they're in STYLE!

2008-02-08T17:26:00.000-06:00

Last week at work, I broke my glasses. I'm not sure how, but the entire arm fell off. I asked Contagion if he could fix them, and after a search we managed to find some epoxy and glue them back together.

They lasted until today.

I once again asked Contagion to see if he could fix them. This time, rather than epoxy, he found some sort of glue that hardens to be like steel! Yay!!

...But the glue takes about 24 hours or more to set.

Great....

I can't see the words on my computer without my glasses. This.will.not.do. How can I work if I cannot see?

So, I headed to Lenscrafters. I can get glasses in a hour there!

Approximately 3 hours later (apparently an hour is relative) I can see again! I head back to work to proudly display my new glasses, which are Versace by the way, and everyone says they really like how I look in them...except Contagion.

Him: They look like military birth control glasses!
Me: ...

Regardless, I like them, but what do you think?

Watch as I FLEX intimidatingly!

2008-02-06T19:12:00.000-06:00

Good to know....now, if I could just make Clone mind!

23

Use THIS LINK to take the test.

h/t Quality Weenie

WTF Wednesday

2008-02-06T18:47:00.000-06:00

In honor of the 14 inches of snow we received TODAY:

The plow is the size of a snow shovel and the vehicle is like a wind up toy! Guess it beats shoveling manually!

Oh HELL YEAH!

2008-02-05T19:15:00.000-06:00

What military aircraft are you?

EA-6B Prowler

You are an EA-6B. You are sinister, preferring not to get into confrontations, but extract revenge through mind games and technological interference. You also love to make noise and couldn't care less about pollution.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

h/t Ogre.

VOTE!!

2008-02-05T18:16:00.000-06:00

No Matter WHAT!

Teresa gives us some great reasons why.

Tammi makes us laugh about it :)

Caltechgirl and I have a lot in common.

Shadoglare did it too.

Don't miss your chance to have your voice heard! We can only complain about the government if we actually took part in the establishment of it!

It's about time!

2008-01-31T19:36:00.000-06:00

Contagion has somehow managed to have yet another blogchild! No one is sure how the unwanted stump of the Bad Example Family keeps managing to do this.

Here's a big WELCOME to Petey's Powderhorn!

His first post indicates he has a taste for Long Pork.
Although claiming to have graduated college with a 4.0 GPA, his "Traditional Sucky First Post" is actually his FOURTH!

Head on over and say Hi!

WTF Wednesday

2008-01-30T16:33:00.000-06:00

Apparently this is a real problem in Asia, similar to Germany's bathroom issues!

The Fantastic 4?

2008-01-23T20:05:00.001-06:00

It all started with Richmond and her Mind Reading Super Power.

Then came Teresa who discovered she had the power of Super Speed!

Apparently all of the stomach issues Contagion has been having is all because of a mutation which has given him the Super Power of Manipulating Fire!

Finally, to complete the Fantastic 4, I will reveal my Super Power!

Your Superpower Should Be Manipulating Electricity

You're highly reactive, energetic, and super charged.
If the occasion calls for it, you can go from 0 to 60 in a split second.
But you don't harness your energy unless you truly need to.
And because of this, people are often surprised by what you are capable of.

Why you would be a good superhero: You have the stamina to fight enemies for days

Your biggest problem as a superhero: As with your normal life, people would continue to underestimate you

What Should Your Superpower Be?

Happy Birthday Lee Ann!!

2008-01-17T19:33:00.000-06:00

To my BlogSister Lee Ann of Lee Ann's View!

Hope this year is the best yet!

WTF Wednesday

2008-01-16T16:56:00.001-06:00

And to think, they didn't notice THIS foul!

News to me!

2008-01-14T20:38:00.000-06:00

Apparently January 12th was my 2 year Blogiversary....

I only know 'cuz my BlogMomma Tammi told me so!

Maybe this is a sign I should get my head back in the game.

WTF Wednesday

2008-01-09T19:46:00.001-06:00

I've never noticed this on my care instructions before!

A Family pasttime is destroyed

2008-01-08T19:06:00.000-06:00

Yesterday it was 60 degrees here in Northern Illinois. We were under all kinds of weather watches all day...but no one expected this:

BULLETIN - EAS ACTIVATION REQUESTED TORNADO WARNING NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE ... EASTERN WINNEBAGO COUNTY IN NORTH CENTRAL ILLINOIS... * UNTIL 345 PM CST

A video was taken by a local 13 year old boy of the tornado, which you can view HERE. Thankfully, no one was killed and there were only a few minor injuries. Just as everyone began to breathe a sigh of relief because it was over, we found out that Edwards Apple Orchard, a place where an estimated 225,000 people visit between Labor Day and Thanksgiving EVERY YEAR was destroyed.

My family and I go here every year. We enjoy the delicious Apple Cider donuts among tons of other wonderful treats, there is a kids play area with a pirate ship, maze and several tractors that the kids can play on. There's a huge barn with hundreds of antiques, including cars, tractors, farm machinery and even antique cider presses! In fact, just this fall Clone got to watch employees of the orchard making apple cider by hand. This local news report shows some of the devastation.

Going to Edwards Apple Orchard is a tradition for many families, and not just in this part of the country! The owners hope to be back in business by the fall and I for one will be anxiously awaiting any news on this.

It's a BOY!!

2008-01-03T21:09:00.000-06:00

Finally after ALL THIS TIME we have a brand new addition to our Tammi's World Estrogen Family!!

BlogMomma Tammi has announced the arrival of a BABY BROTHER!! Who'd have thunk!

Please join me in welcoming Navy CPO, staring in Musings from the Smartest Man in the World!

And as Tammi's likes to say "This is what I'm gonna need for you to do. Head on over. Check out Navy CPO. Leave him a comment and welcome him to the Wonderful World of Blogging......."

WTF Wednesday

2008-01-02T18:01:00.001-06:00

I'm thinking this one earned the "Disgruntled Employee of the Month" award!!

On a scale of 1 to 10....

2007-12-31T14:39:00.000-06:00

You Had a Fantastic Year!

Compared to most years, last year was definitely great.
Overall, you're living a much better life than you were twelve months ago.
And nothing is a better mark of a good year.
Here's to hoping next year is even better!

How Did Your Year Rate?

What?! No Garnish?

2007-12-31T10:15:00.000-06:00

The Recipe For KTreva

3 parts Rebellion
2 parts Intensity
1 part Vitality

Splash of Giddiness

Sip slowly on the beach

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

h/t Tammi.

I have evolved!!

2007-12-28T11:12:00.001-06:00

I have been a Slithering Reptile with TTLB for a very long time now...so long in fact, I seldom ever check my Ecosystem status, but today....for whatever reason I looked at it.

I am now an Adorable Little Rodent!! Yay!! I've grown legs!

I think it's a little high

2007-12-21T15:56:00.001-06:00

Your Christmas Sprit Level: 65%

You have a lot of Christmas spirit, and it's evident to most people who know you.
You love most things Christmas, and you do your best to make sure everyone has a great holiday.

While you like the more commercial aspects of Christmas, you truly know what the spirit of Christmas is about.
You're all about giving, being kind, and sharing the spirit of Christmas with everyone you know.

Do You Have the Christmas Spirit?

It's ALIVE!!

2007-12-19T20:34:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it!! She's back!!

My blogdaughter is posting again!!

Now excuse me while I go and post comments to her about abandoning everyone!

WTF Wednesday

2007-12-19T17:38:00.000-06:00

Obviously this guy is speaking from experience!

Dad gives the smackdown!

2007-12-17T11:37:00.000-06:00

With Christmas right around the corner, we are all quite aware of the craze that is Guitar Hero III and the Nintendo Wii.

Let me tell you, I would do EXACTLY the same thing this Dad did if I found out Boopie did this!

Dad sells son's $90 video game online for more than $9000.

Happy Harleydays!

2007-12-16T12:53:00.000-06:00

LOVE IT!!

But....why??

2007-12-13T08:46:00.000-06:00

Glow in the dark cats.

All I can think of is "Well, if the lights go out..."

I am not alone!

2007-12-13T08:41:00.000-06:00

I just love the fact that other people look for WTF items. Apparently the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch held a contest for the Wackiest Warning Labels!

Here was the Grand Prize Winner!!

WTF Wednesday

2007-12-12T20:55:00.001-06:00

My husband likes to tell me that everything is better with bacon....

I'm not so sure in this case!

Holiday Quizzes

2007-12-11T19:37:00.000-06:00

You Should Have a Gold Christmas Tree

For you, the holidays represent a time of optimism and wealth.
You definitely have a generous spirit, and you give a lot during the holiday season.

You really go over the top for Christmas. Everyone on your list gets a great gift.
Even if you don't have a lot of money during the holidays, it's the one time you pretend like you do.

Your gold tree would look great with: All kinds of metallic decorations

You should spend Christmas Eve watching: Miracle on 34th St

What you should bake for Santa: A ton of cookies, cupcakes, and candy. You would enjoy spoiling him.

What Color Christmas Tree Should You Have?

You Know a Lot About Christmas

You got 10/10 correct

You know tons about the history and traditions surrounding Christmas.
When you celebrate the holidays, you never forget their true meaning - or all the little fun details.

Random Christmas fact: December 25th was not celebrated as the birthday of Christ until the year AD 440.

How Much Do You Know About Christmas?

What The Holidays Mean to You

For you, the holidays are about celebration. You enjoy all the fun and fellowship that the holidays bring.

You celebrate the holidays in a offbeat style. You believe the holidays are for doing whatever you feel like - and some of your "traditions" are pretty wacky.

During the holidays, you like to feel cozy and comfortable. You're happy to stay inside with a roaring fire and a warm drink.

You think the holidays should be comforting and relaxing. You don't like the holiday rush... you just like the simple pleasure of the holidays.

Your best holiday memories are of childhood foods and traditions. You secretly still wish you believed in Santa Claus.

What Do the Holidays Mean to You?

Highland Garden of Memories is disrespectful to the dead.

2007-12-04T18:00:00.000-06:00

If you need to bury a loved one heed this warning: Don't purchase plots at Highland Garden of Memories in Belvidere, Illinois. It's at the corner of IL route 76 and Squaw Prairie Road. If you do have to deal with them, make sure you are real clear on the details and expect to be lied to.

As some of you may be aware, my husbands Grandmother passed away last Thursday after a long battle with Parkinson's Disease among many other illnesses. Grandma had pre planned most of her funeral arrangements with Fitzgerald Funeral Home. They were wonderful to the entire family, and everything was beautiful and went according to plan. Until we arrived at the Highland Garden of Memories cemetery (where Grandma had her burial plot next to Grandpa) in Belvidere Illinois for graveside services and burial.

Every person who came was under the impression that Grandma would be buried. Every person was confused when we were led into an on site chapel. When the person working at the cemetery was questioned, the only answer he would give was "it's too dark for them to do the work so they were going to do it the next day" and that "the workers had already gone home". What?!?! Seriously, 3:30 PM is too DARK to work outside?? 'Angry' doesn't begin to describe the emotions that went through each and every one of us.

I don't know about anyone else, but the purpose for the graveside services is to create a closure for the family. Most of our family didn't receive this closure because of the inappropriate, uncaring, and indifferent attitude of the cemetery supervisor. Today when my Husband and I returned for the internment with some of his family and the funeral home, we requested a written apology.... and were told "I said I was sorry yesterday".

So many ways to cause him pain went through my head at that moment.

I couldn't BELIEVE he just didn't get it.

Contagion and I feel that this type of behavior cannot be tolerated, and are both outraged by the events. He has a post up regarding Highland Garden of Memories as well, with a few more details. Hopefully our words will strike home to someone and things like this wont happen to anyone else.

We will miss her

2007-11-30T07:37:00.000-06:00

Contagion's Grandmother passed away last night at 8:10 PM.

It was a long road and a hard struggle for her. May she rest in peace.

WTF Wednesday Part Deux!

2007-11-28T20:35:00.000-06:00

I couldn't help myself!!

WTF Wednesday

2007-11-28T20:31:00.000-06:00

This one comes from my good friend Red.

I don't know HOW she found this...I'm not sure I WANT to know...but now, everyone gets to be subjected to it!!

I LOVE CHICKEN POOP

WTF Wednesday

2007-11-22T18:28:00.000-06:00

In honor on tomorrow being Black Friday, here's the perfect shopping place. Something for the Men AND the kids!

My Karma ran over my Dogma

2007-11-19T19:28:00.000-06:00

TheKarmaQuiz.com - Online Karma Test Click Here!
KTreva, Your Karmic Alignment is: Optimistic!

Score: 7 In general, you tend to create poitive actions. You have a caring personality which gives you positive Karma. Every now and then you slip up and harvest negative Karma. But, all in all, you follow lines similar to the Monks on their way to enlightenment.

I'm sure this is a good thing!

h/t Contagion

Oh that Winter Skin.....

2007-11-18T13:49:00.000-06:00

Our skin hates it. Cold dry air, friction that comes from wearing heavier clothing. Indoor heating....these all can make your skin dry, itchy and prone to cracks. How do you keep yourself from drying out this winter? Since I'm certain that I'm not the only person who experiences this, I thought I would pass along these 10 tips for this winter so maybe we can all reap the benefits of softer, smoother skin.

Add a humidifier to your bedroom.
Don't take long, hot showers and baths. You'll wash away the skins natural oils. Keep bathing to 10 minutes, use just warm water, keep the doors closed to lock in humidity and skip the fancy soaps (they can be drying) in favor of a mild, moisturizing, scent-free cleanser.
Moisturize your skin after bathing while it's still damp. Reapply as necessary.
Continue to use sun screen, even through the winter.
Don't lick your lips. Lips are prone to chapping because they don't have sweat or oil glands. Licking makes it worse! Petroleum jelly or lip balm works well.
Wear gloves when washing dishes or cleaning (OR have your husband do it!)
If hands or feet become extremely dry try slathering on a heavy lotion at night and wear cotton socks or gloves to bed. Treat cracked heals with a moisturizer containing lactic acid or urea. If the problem is severe, see your dermatologist.
Wear soft clothing next to your skin (I think they should make silk long underwear!)
Use unscented fabric softeners. Perfumes and chemicals can be drying. (But they smell so NICE! I don't think I can do this one.)
Leave your electric blanket turned "OFF". It will suck the moisture from your skin as you sleep. (Then what is the point of having one?)

Personally, I love Eucerin Calming Creme. I've never experience a lotion that works as well at this does!

WTF Wednesday

2007-11-14T20:27:00.000-06:00

Someone didn't think this through.....

WTF Wednesday

2007-11-07T22:13:00.000-06:00

Perhaps only the sinners will understand this sign?

Ways To Uplift the Workplace

2007-11-05T18:49:00.000-06:00

Believe it or not, this was distributed in our office last week! I particularly like #8!

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.
Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."
Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.
Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask him or her if they want fries with that.
Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.
Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."
Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

WTF Wednesday

2007-10-23T19:14:00.001-05:00

Ya think?!

This is pretty cool

2007-10-16T22:22:00.000-05:00

I found this over at TIG's and decided to take it myself.

I thought it was pretty cook as I come out a Crow.

What do YOU think?

Apparently it's catching

2007-10-16T20:06:00.000-05:00

As some of you may be aware, Contagion has a slight addiction to zombies. Apparently, somewhere along the way, I too have found myself questioning if I was "ready for when the zombies come."

I didn't realize his addiction was also contagious.

56%
Well, it's better than I thought I'd do!

I need a caption

2007-10-15T19:08:00.000-05:00

So tell me, what do YOU think this photo should be titled? Please tell me in the comments.

Things I learned on my day off

2007-10-15T18:53:00.000-05:00

What a great weekend!

Good Times, Good Friends, Booze flowing freely and Clone slept until 9 am EVERY MORNING!!
Contagion tells the story much better than I can, but I would like to highlight a few things:

"Dragons Milk is like rocket fuel to a fat man!" Apparently what is ambrosia one night is "vile swill", "Scaly Tit" or "Dragons Cum" the next morning. Just for the record, Contagion did warn everyone when handing out the beer!
Three's, AKA "The Circle of DEATH" is much more fun with Noah playing because we can enforce all kinds of rules, then add a few new people and BAM! No more hangover for me!
Contrary to popular belief, Clone CANNOT PASS AS NATIVE!! The blue eyes maybe, but the white blonde hair and chubby Norse cheeks generally indicates "immigrant". No matter how much red paint you smear him with! (For the record, I can't get the red splotch of Bear Grease off of his forehead!)
An announcement was made at the Tavern on Saturday night which I'm still laughing about. Apparently a gentleman of noble girth does NOT have a beer belly, he has a FUEL TANK FOR A LOVE MACHINE! Just classic!

All in all we had a great time! My husband was accepted into the O.N.W. as a full member too! Too bad it'll be a while before we get to see everyone again. We will be attending the O.N.W. Ball the first week of November and will get to see everyone then. I just wish I had a corset I could wear *hint - cough - RED - cough - hint*

Looking forward to the next 8!

2007-10-09T17:43:00.000-05:00

As some of you know, today is Contagion and my 8th Wedding Anniversary. It's hard to believe that I could have gotten so lucky to catch a guy like him! He and I are made for each other and complement the other in so many ways.

For our anniversary, I bought him something he has been asking for.....well, since I can remember! Just as a thank you for...well, for putting up with me!

Happy Anniversary Honey! I Love You!

WTF Wednesday

2007-10-03T18:33:00.000-05:00

I have no idea what this means and to be honest, I don't think I want to know!

I like to call this one "Watch out for Poopers!"

For the first time in 10 Years...

2007-09-27T20:26:00.000-05:00

For those of you who don't know, Contagion is actually celebrating his birthday this year...and I'm not kidding when I say it's the first time in 10 years.

Every year we argue because I decide I'm going to do or buy something for his birthday and he decides that he's not going to celebrate it. The argument gets old.

Here is where I need ya'll to help me...

He has posted a couple times regarding the Blogcrawl....if anyone, ANYONE at all can join us I would be incredibly grateful! You see, this is a big deal. Even if you can't join us in person, leaving zillions of comments for him, or if you choose, I'll be more than happy to provide the information to let you DRUNK DIAL him :)

Yeah, this is gonna be GREAT!! Work with me people!!

WTF Wednesday!

2007-09-27T00:01:00.000-05:00

I don't think I even NEED to elaborate.

I'm beginning to wonder

2007-09-21T17:53:00.000-05:00

As some of you know, our eldest boy Boopie is 14 years old and started high school this year. The entire summer I have been talking with him about the expectations for this upcoming school year. Apparently, he thought I was kidding.

The other morning as I was finishing getting ready for work, Boopie went upstairs to take a shower. He goes into the bathroom, shuts the door and turns on the water. Ok, nothing different there. I continue getting ready, when I hear the bathroom door click shut....Odd...considering it was shut earlier when he went in.

I check the bathroom door, which is shut tight, and I can hear the shower running on the other side. I thought it must have been the wind since the bathroom window was open. I take Clone downstairs and a few minutes later (while I am in the process of putting on his shoes before we leave) I hear the bathroom door open...but I can STILL hear the shower running.

WTF?

Just to give you a visual, we have a two story home and our bathroom is directly at the top of our stairs, so I can see the bathroom and upper hallway quite clearly. Sure enough, the bathroom door is open and there is Boopie....standing in the hallway outside of the bathroom with all of this clothes on.

The shower is still running.

"What are you doing?!" I yelled up the stairs.

There was a long pause....he was obviously startled to find me at the bottom of the stairs questioning him. I see him quickly take off his shorts before moving into a direct line of sight with me. Apparently he believes that if HE can't see ME then I can't see HIM!

"I..." he began, "I forgot to take off my clothes so that I could get into the shower, so I came out into the hall to do it."

I honestly think that the look on my face must have spoken volumes....for my brain actually stopped and went "WHA????"

After blinking and shaking my head several times to clear the "WTF" moment from my brain, I proceeded to say....or maybe it was more of a growl... "then why is the shower still RUNNING?"

"Wuh....uh...I forgot to..."

"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT, you FORGOT that taking a shower requires you to be NAKED!"

Seriously, I just wanted to throttle him! I mean, I knew the boy couldn't lie to save his life, but WOW...that is one damn impressive HORRIBLE lie! I mean, in the past he's told some real doozies...but NOTHING quite like this!!

Needless to say, it's not the first lie I've caught him in, and I'm sure it won't be the last. For the record, he does see a counselor who has helped him quite a bit with other things, however I'm putting this crap off to his biological father. There's A LOT more I could say about that, but I won't.

He had better figure things out soon, or he's gonna REALLY be hating life 'cause Momma don't play that.

What's that Lassie? Timmy's stuck ina well?!

2007-09-15T17:45:00.000-05:00

Hey! That's not TIMMY!!

Birthday Boobs for Harvey!!

2007-09-14T18:20:00.000-05:00

Finding what Harvey was asking for wasn't hard....find the PERFECT gift was considerably more difficult!

I found OLD ones, and OLDER Ones....and some really WEIRD Ones, but none were quite right (in more way's than one!)

But then, I found them....the PERFECT Ones!

Happy Birthday Harvey!! I hope you enjoy them!!

WTF Wednesday

2007-09-12T18:12:00.000-05:00

This week's WTF Wednesday is by popular request!

Our good friend Petey would like to ask him(?) the following questions:

Why do you care?
How can you actually believe your spew?
Why the F*~k would you record it as a video, especially while holding a curtain behind your head?
What would posses you to put it on You Tube?

And finally,

5. Post or Pre-Op?

h/t Contagion and ABC News (WTF ever!!)

My Grandpappy's Birthday!

2007-09-10T18:47:00.000-05:00

My Bloggrandfather's birthday is coming...and he's made a list for all of us JUST IN CASE we aren't sure what to get him.

Go give him your two cents!

WTF Wednesday

2007-09-05T20:14:00.000-05:00

You'll excuse me, I'm a little late in posting this, but I was busy enjoying my birthday present!

Anywho, today I happily present to you this week's WTF Wednesday choice:

What exactly ARE native baits? All suggestions are welcome and perhaps encouraged!

T1G is abandoning us all!

2007-08-29T20:50:00.000-05:00

Since I'm pretty sure that TIG won't have much room to take many things with him on his move to California, but I thought these few little trinkets could always be carried with him.

First and foremost, he is my beloved Big Brother, and we will miss him dearly.

BUT, just as a reminder of the other things you might miss:

CLONE and the Cheesy Poofs!

Great local football with front row seats!

And of course all of your wonderful friends!

It's just won't be the same without you here, but I wish you the best of luck...and I mean that! Besides, I need you to scout out fun places* to go while you are in California so the family and I can come and visit! Stay in touch, or I might have to ask you to assume the position again!

*By fun places, I do mean "family friendly fun" not just "drunken fun" or "strip club fun".

WTF Wednesday

2007-08-29T20:48:00.000-05:00

If you managed to get to this stop sign.....what's next?

I could honestly stay that if I saw this I would YELL out the words to WTF from my Asexual Mom Mobile!

Here's one for Sari

2007-08-27T21:39:00.000-05:00

Do you think she has a case?!